Gong Hyo-jin on Aging in the Spotlight, Marriage and Finding Peace at 40

Actress Gong Hyo-jin says the ease she feels today came from two places: a long career and a full house.

Sitting down at a cafe in Seoul's Samcheong-dong neighborhood, Gong spoke about her new film "The Journey to Gyeongju," directed by Kim Mi-jo. The film follows four mothers and daughters who set out on a journey of revenge for the youngest, who never returned from a school trip to Gyeongju eight years earlier. Gong plays Jang-ju, the eldest daughter, who puts family before everything else.

After years as one of Korea's most familiar leading actresses, Gong is now in a reflective mood. Asked whether she felt she had been acting for a long time, she nodded. "Yes, I've been doing this for so long."

She said old clips from her past work now hit her differently. "When I see photos from old projects, I think, 'Has it really been more than 10 years?' I look at myself and feel that I was cute, and a little heartbreaking too. But back then, all I could see were flaws. I'd think I looked bad, or puffy, or that I was frowning too much. I was annoyed with myself and couldn't enjoy any of it. I wonder now why I couldn't feel it then. That period was one of constant growth, so in a way that was healthy, but I also didn't accept myself or enjoy the moment."

Turning 40 changed that, she said. "I found some ease after I turned 40. That's the kind of calm that comes with age. I used to only think about my career and how I appeared to other people. Now I think more about my inside, my mental health and my happiness. Whether it's criticism or praise, I can handle it."

She said she wants younger actors to hear the same thing. "I want to tell them, 'Just hold on. Time solves everything. When you get here, people won't watch you as closely, and you won't get scolded as much.'" She added, "I feel proud that I've made it this far. I'm grateful to my company family and to everything, really."

Gong is also riding a strong reception for the drama "A Bona Fide Killer," which has drawn positive reviews on Korean TV, ahead of the release of "The Journey to Gyeongju." She pointed to another turning point in her outlook: marriage. Gong wed singer Kevin Oh in 2022.

"Since I got married, my family has doubled, and then doubled again," she said. "When I first started working, I had this special job as somebody's daughter. Now I also have to be an ordinary daughter-in-law. And I'm trying harder to be an ordinary daughter to my own parents too."

She also talked about her in-laws in the United States. "The drama had good ratings through episode four, and I got a lot of congratulations. My husband congratulated me too," she said. "The joy and the fullness you feel when a project does well, it multiplies several times over."

She smiled recalling a conversation with her husband. "I told him thank you, and he asked, 'Why are you thanking me?' I said, 'My happiness feels doubled, because you get to be happy with me.'"

"Having so many family members who can share in the joy makes the happiness even fuller for me," she said.