RM Shares Rare Reflections on Leadership and Life Beyond the Stage on 'Fashion Neurosis'

BTS' leader RM (Kim Nam-joon) offered up one of his most introspective interviews in recent years during his appearance on Fashion Neurosis, opening up about his leadership, creativity, perfectionism and the ever evolving dynamic within BTS as they continue the path they’re on.

Hosted by fashion designer, Bella Freud, Fashion Neurosis invites guests to lie down on a couch and discuss the various relationships between fashion, love, identity, culture and more. In RM’s case, the conversation mainly began focused on fashion but it quickly developed into a broader reflection on identity and personal growth.

Here, perhaps his biggest idea was that people inherently are always made up of contradictions. "I think it's all about balance," RM said while discussing navigating life in the mainstream music industry.

"I'm in the middle of the pop industry, so I have to keep the balance... try to keep the distance from the numbers and impact itself and try to get close to the nature and all those kind of things that are not related to this fast era," he mentioned as well.

RM acknowledged that one of his biggest struggles continues to be resisting the constant pressure to produce and achieve more as he admits that the pace of social media often leaves him with the idea that he must always be creating something new. He describes this feeling to come in waves which he says often are one of his biggest fears.

However the turning point in the interview came when he was asked more about his role as BTS’ leader as he admitted that in the early years of the group he approached leadership in a very different manner.

He described himself as "a powerful type of bossy leader" as he tried to unite seven members with different personalities, backgrounds and dreams. However, as each member grew individually and established their own careers, he realized that his leadership style also needed to evolve.

Rather than defining leadership through authority, RM compared it to someone getting up from a comfortable couch to close an open window while everyone else remains seated. "I think that's what a leader does for every part of the team," he explained. "It's basically really just annoying to be a leader... but if somebody has to do it, then it should be me."

Despite the responsibilities that come with the role, RM shared that simple words of appreciation from the members make the burden worthwhile. "When they sometimes tell me that they know my efforts and that they're really happy to have a leader like me, all those stress, they're gone," he said.

In pair with leading, RM also reflected on his own perfectionism, admitting that he often finds himself caught between pushing harder and allowing himself to rest by saying, "Sometimes I feel like I'm too much of a control freak for myself."

He shared his ongoing internal dialogue to which a lot of people nowadays can relate to, the feeling of telling oneself to keep working and pushing through versus the feeling of simply relaxing and “chilling out.” For RM, even while touring he explained he pushes himself to visit museums and exhibitions despite his physical and mental exhaustion because he worries he won’t get a second chance to experience them again.

Furthermore, it was that same art in those museums and exhibitions that allowed him to begin expanding his own visual spectrum back in 2018. He explained that while on tour it is very difficult to get some alone time and that he never saw himself as a museum guy before. However, after seeing various paintings in person, especially by artists such as Van Gogh and Monet, it felt like a whole new world had opened up for him.

"Art helps widen your perception to the world" he noted before looking briefly back on his twenties. RM said he once believed he needed to have one clearly defined personality. Today, however, nowadays he embraces contradiction instead.

"I got to realize that a human being and an identity could be really... complicated," he said. "I'm still figuring out what to show and what to hide." He added that music has become the place where he is most comfortable revealing the parts of himself he cannot express elsewhere, describing it as a space to release his "bad things and demons."

One of the interview's most personal moments came as RM discussed the idea of "normality" while living such an unconventional life in the public spotlight as part of one of the biggest groups in the world.

He admitted he became increasingly fixated on wanting to be "normal." Eventually, however, he realized that the more he chased that idea, the further away it seemed. "I'm trying to stop thinking about normality," he said adding again that those times in which he visits museums and exhibitions help him claim some sense of normality back into his life.

Across nearly an hour of conversation, RM revealed a version of himself that extended well beyond his role as one of K-POP’s biggest stars. Rather than presenting himself as someone who has found all the answers, he spoke openly about uncertainty, self-doubt and learning to trust both himself and the six members beside him. In doing so, the interview painted a portrait not only of RM as an artist, but also of a leader whose understanding of responsibility has evolved alongside BTS itself.